Monday, October 30, 2006

Close Encounters with the Rodent Kind

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside…

I decided for the two weeks prior to my balmy Bahamas cruise, I'm only going to eat salads for lunch. This resolution was partially spurred by the introduction of a delish salad place just across the street -- and despite the near $10 tab per salad, I was actually looking forward to eating one. Not normal for me by any means, but you it's a create-your-own kind of place with lots o' tasty toppings, so I decided to go for it. Why not try healthy eating just this once?

So, after a busy Monday morning thinking about clients and PR and travel coverage, I arrived at the salad place "Tossed," ordered my bowl of leaves and waited near the door to receive my salad-"artist"-created concoction. As I waited, a non-descript dude walked in to pick up his take-out order… The gal at the counter handed it to him and proceeded to have a calm exchange that I could barely understand. The only words I heard, or thought I heard, were "rat" and "mouse." The guy stooped down to point under the industrial-sized coffee makers and continued quietly and rather nonchalantly speaking to the counter-girl.

So counter girl looks bewildered and bends down to peek under the coffee makers. All the while, I was thinking, "This guy has got to be kidding right? This is a Halloween prank -- it has to be!" I began to look around for renegade rodents, but the guy shrugged his shoulders and left. Counter-girl continued to nonchalantly poke around the coffee pot area, which let me make clear -- is connected to the food-creation area. I was satisfied that the guy was a nutjob simply messing with the girl - and honestly, I was famished so I just tried to ignore the fact that this absurdity had even occurred.

That ended when counter-girl rocketed five feet into the sky and ran to the other side of the restaurant, immediately hijacking a cash register and claiming that job from another girl, whom she made stand in her spot. I know people don't just jump high and run fast because lettuce scared them.

Just then, the previously unseen mouse scurried out onto the counter. Resickulous!!

I almost took my salad and left, but I decided I didn't want to die of the plague so I demanded my money back. And all the people who work there were like, man, I can't believe everyone wants their money back. Hey, buddy, I didn't order MOUSE on my salad. I specifically said cheese, chicken, tomatoes and raisins, you foolish, inept salad-makers. You call yourselves "artists?"

The disease-purveyors formerly known as "salad artists" were trying so hard to keep the rodent a secret that they just continued to make salads, as one of their cohorts was busy smashing the mouse right by the food, man. Gag-o-rific. I'm so over salad. You can't say I didn't try. Back to cupcakes.

1 comment:

Jamie said...

GGGGggroooosssssss. I eat too many salads in this City to read a story like that!!