Friday, October 13, 2006

Lost in Translation

I've been told that lately my conversations are becoming filled with so many Angie-isms that it's hard to fully comprehend what I'm talking about. To that end, I've created a brief dictionary for reference.

Na-r-sty - Gross, plus gross. Times gross. With gross on top.

Gi-normous - Really, really, ridiculously huge

Wonk - More of a sound effect really... if you drop something on the floor, you may accompany it with a loud "Wonk!" If you hit your head on something, it's good to say "wonk, wonk" in a whinier voice.

Yipes - Similar to yikes but not in a "Yikes, I'm scared" context. For example, "My throat hurts I think I have mono." Response: "Yipes! Sucks to be you."

Blast - An old favorite and time-tested Angie-ism staple. It's better than cursing... use it when you stub your toe or trip on the street.

Yarrr! - It means yes in pirate-lingo.

Suckfest, crapfest - Can be used interchangeably to mean a defined period of time that was not good or fun. Example: "My whole week was a suckfest. Nothing went right."

Craplematic - Crappy + problematic

Fiddle-dee-dee - Pilfered from Scarlett O'Hara, this Southern expression is one of my favorites... it implies that the person who just spoke is an idiot, and it gives you an easy way to blow them off without calling them names or seeming rude. Example: "I'm going to be the President of the United States." You say, "Fiddle-dee-dee," and change the subject. Works like a charm.

Wretched - This one has been on my roster for years. Particularly useful when you want to call someone a name but not too mean of a name. Example: "You're a expletive deleted." Better: "You're positively wretched."

Lucifer! - Another great name to call someone, but only in a dire situation. Example: When someone hoses you out of a promotion or manipulates their way out of a situation that you are then stuck in, then you shout accusingly: "LUCIFER!"

Christmas in July! - Honestly don't know where this one came from. But it works better than a curse word when you're frustrated - especially useful when things aren't going as planned. You get to the grocery store and they're out of everything you need... "Christmas in July!"


M. Jonathan Wein said...

craplematic - sounds like a gallagher prop, but it actually is a useful compound word.

Anonymous said...

Dang, I was hoping to see 'licentious harlot'. Was it too vulgar to make it into your public vernacular?

Anonymous said...

Hey! I know those Angie-isms...and I miss them dearly. I love making up words (cancelization & shmug)

Hope all is well for you in the Big Apple!