Monday, November 20, 2006

November 13

5 a.m… ruckus…“Mom, are you making coffee or building a space shuttle?”... so early...need to run errands…first time driving since the accident...how do you start a Prius?...20 minutes later…read the manual...push start?... is this a go-cart?...can’t turn the wipers off…30 seconds down the road…massive squirrel explosion... ”@$#%&!*” ...bawling... who murders a squirrel on their birthday…why am I behind the wheel again?!

Quick favor for my brother…picking up his contacts...drove far...he forgot to order them…idiot...grocery store to buy wine for the boat... “Um, I’m gonna need to see some ID”…for Pete’s sake, do the math… I’m 25…stopped at T-Mobile to get a new phone…dog and pony show…how old do you have to be to buy a stinkin’ phone?…I’m trying to give you money, people, just take it…

Back in the car... pass Middleburg High School… old stomping grounds…memories…a few more tears…25 sucks so far…back home to get the family…four people, seven suitcases/bags and a dog don’t fit very well in the Prius…speed to Jacksonville…brother calls…#*@$&…”Fine jerk, stay here!”…who yells at someone on their birthday?..."I'm gonna batch-slap you, shat-bag!"...just get me on the boat before I freak out…Bon Voyage!

Finally on the ship…aww, Mom had the cabin decorated with Happy Birthday streamers, champagne, a cake, the whole she-bang!...wait, all five of us are sleeping in here?... nice bunkbeds…4:45 - meet up with the rest of the family for pre-dinner pizza…5:45 real dinner…SHOWTIME… Joseph, our supercharged maitre’d, sings and dances… Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeee!...I’m nauseous…need Dramamine…"I think you have too many shoes, SHUT UP! Let's get some shoes!"

Watch a show in the Astoria Lounge… “It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone”… “Y’all are obnoxious”…"I'm just sayin'"...taste-testing with mom…let’s go hang out at the “Friends of Dorothy” meeting… OH, that’s what that means!!!... nevermind, it’s karaoke time… worst performance ever…at least dad said I was good…where are all the young people?...”Wow, the dance floor lights up Michael Jackson-style!”…tag-team dance party for two… “Let’s go to the cafeteria!”… Cafeteria = CASINO…it’s my birthday, how come I’m not winning? ... goodbye, birthday money… 21-year-old Orth triplets having a great time... walking around on the deck… meeting new friends…watch out for those UNISEX bathrooms...speaking Spanish…

5 a.m... back to the cabin…Mom wakes up and says, “Nice of you two to join us!”…. zzzzzzzzzzz

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