Since it's January, it's only natural that I have made a lengthy list of resolutions to make me a better person. (Yes, I broke almost all of them already. Sue me.) To that end, I joined a gym and have been working out in the hopes of looking as emaciated as my favorite celebrities very soon…just kidding.
Each new member is entitled to a fitness assessment and session with a personal trainer so on Sunday, I met with Franka, a 4'6", 80 lb, ball of energy. She was super nice as she lead me through all sorts of easy stuff… treadmill tests, pushups, pullups, squats and finally lunges. No sooner had the words, "I can do this all day" left my mouth, than I stood up and felt that all-too-familiar feeling like I was going to faint. Which, on one hand, would not be the worst thing in the world since hey, at least the floor was cushy. On the other hand, I would never be able to come back to the gym because there were hot, muscly men all around and nobody wants to be friends with the nerd girl who can't handle pretty much the easiest workout ever.
To prevent a ghastly spectacle and the inevitable ambulance call, I mumbled incoherently to Franka, "I think I'm gonna need to sit down," and immediately plopped into an Indian-style heap on the floor. It didn't help much, as I was still seeing black and red spots, my vision was blurry at best and I was hot and cold at the same time. "Nope, I'm gonna need to lie down," I said, as I sprawled out on my back in the middle of the gym floor, with my eyes closed. Charming. I tried not to think about how everyone in the gym was surely staring at me as my dear trainer brought me some Gatorade.
I tried to sit up, only to see gym equipment spinning all around me. I sprawled again. After a couple of minutes, I really was okay and walked home eight blocks. No biggie. And lucky me, I get to see Franka again on Sunday. Hopefully this time I'll stay on two feet and not collapsed in a heap in the middle of a crowded gym of muscles.
Fitness assessment: D+
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