Thursday, November 8, 2007

Breaking(Up) News

Sources close to the country's hottest new supercouple say that RaeRae will end her 24-hour relationship with Malfoy* as soon as Friday. It seems like only yesterday – perhaps because it was - that RaeRae had fallen head over heels for her suddenly cute classmate. In a telephone interview on Wednesday, RaeRae denounced rumors that she and Malfoy were headed for a breakup. “He got way cuter over the summer,” she gushed over her recently obtained amour.

But after just one day, it seems the pressure may be too much to handle for the tall-and-leggy half of the duo. In a shocking turn of events, sources say the relationship is on the rocks after just 24 hours of coupledom. “It’s not until you date a person that you really understand their flaws,” RaeRae shared with friends on Thursday night. “We just grew apart.”

When contacted by phone, RaeRae’s publicist issued the following statement:
“RaeRae has decided to end her 24-hour relationship with Malfoy, though she has not yet presented him with the official breakup documentation, a handwritten note. By this time tomorrow, it really will be over and they’ll both be free to live their own lives again. The couple appreciates the media’s respect of their privacy at this difficult time.”

But what’s the real reason behind the breakup? Was it truly because Malfoy was too introverted, as sources close to the couple have speculated? “I knew he was shy, but I thought he could change,” RaeRae was quoted as saying on PerezHilton.com. “He’s just always there waving at me and asking stupid questions like ‘What’s your phone number?’ and ‘Do you want to wear my jacket?’” the celebrity blog site reported this afternoon. According to another source, RaeRae said, “I don’t’ want to play these games anymore. I forfeit.”

The star’s publicist claimed that RaeRae was forced to write the breakup note because, she “can’t just break up with him on the phone” because that would be “awkward.”

Despite the flack’s explanation of the breakup, sources from Malfoy’s camp are already crying foul. “Everyone knows RaeRae has had a thing for Ron Weasley* since 6th grade. Now that Weasley’s single again, it’s no surprise she’s freeing up her calendar.”

Stay tuned for continuing coverage.
*Names changed to protect the young and impressionable.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha thats so funny cas its true
and i gave rae the line about not seeing flaws till ur dating lol
ur a great writer though :)