Oops, I did it again, by Britney Spears
I am a confounded fool. Ever since I got the boot on, I've been absolutely itching to work out, run, dance - anything! So, for some reason, I thought it would be great to go ice skating -- tonight. In case you're keeping score at home, yes, I still have a broken foot and am still sporting the Darth Vader boot. Now please add to the injury list a sprained left knee, a severely bruised right knee and hip, and a still broken, and worse off, foot.
So what possessed a supposedly smart girl like me to do something so bloody brainless? Who knows? It all happened so quickly. I was giving Jenny and Priscilla and their husbands and Jenny's kids the grand tour of Central Park, which I wasn't supposed to be doing anyhow. My doctor specifically said, "No more lengthy jaunts around Central Park." Well, I rationalized with myself that I've had the boot for about eight weeks now, so the heel should have healed by now. And it truly didn't hurt today - until the skating debacle. Okay, well actually I was limping before we got to the rink.... but Jenny really wanted to skate, and the next thing I knew, I was agreeing to hit the ice. (That was supposed to be figurative.)
The first shoe I've worn on my right foot in eight weeks (besides the boot) was an ice skate. To be honest, the skating didn't really hurt at first. I was a little shaky, my ankle was a bit weak, but I was doing ok. After I skated a couple of laps, I was confident. I just knew I was healed up and ready to rock in Hawaii. Eleven-mile hike, here I come!
Pffft. I decided to practice a couple simple tricks... just some one-leg skating, nothing fancy. Then I decided to skate backwards for a bit - no pain there. "Watch this," I said in true daredevil redneck fashion. I think my hometown homegirls brought out the invincible high-schooler in me. "Here I go, watch my spin!'
I barely made one revolution before I lost my balance, twisted my left knee one way, slammed into the ice with the other, and thought, "@&#*&@!$^#&$!@!" It hurt - a lot. A flash went through my mind - I just tore my ACL. I JUST TORE MY ACL. I'm going to Hawaii TOMORROW. I am the single dumbest person who has ever lived." For those wanting to watch at home sometime, you're in luck. Priscilla videotaped this historic fall. And then I thought, OMG, this must be what Nancy Kerrigan's knee felt like when she was attacked by thugs!
I sprawled on the ice, heaped in with Jenny who had attempted a one-legged maneuver. I said a quick prayer and lay motionless, willing myself to be ok. Blessedly, my ACL isn't torn but my knee is definitely, definitely jacked. I limped home in defeat, the gold medal lost forever, my dignity left on the ice.
So now I'm wearing a boot and a knee brace, and the black and blue coloring that has taken over the right side of my body is going to be a really sexy accessory to any one of the nine bathing suits I'm bringing. After hearing the latest injury report, RaeRae said, "I think you need to stay in your room and read a book."
Rest assured, dear readers, I plan to relax a lot during my vacation - right after I shark dive.
So the song of the day is Oops, I did it again, because I feel like every other blog post is about me hurting my own self in some ridiculous way.
Oops, I did it again
I played with your heart
Got lost in the game
Oh baby baby
Oops, You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent