Top 10 Reasons I Want My Brother to be the Newest Addition to Apt. 1E
1. He would bring Guitar Hero and we could ROCK
2. His friends are mentally equivalent to tree stumps and he should leave them before he gets blown up
3. My friends leurve Hodgie, and I would be thrilled if he married one of them instead of some golddigging hussy
4. I'd have someone to take care of
5. He has the potential to be "discovered" and I could mooch off him for once
6. He can fix just about anything and he knows what to buy at Home Depot
7. I'd never have to take out the trash again
8. He could intimidate the sketchballs on the corner so they wouldn't bother me
9. He's good at cooking up "special" meals, like Pixie Stick Hamburgers and mile-high grilled sandwiches
10. He's a boy - no drama!
Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Want My Brother to be the Newest Addition to Apt. 1E
1. It would be a little like having a child
2. There was that time he tried to kill me with a machete…
3. He's a drummer, whap, bang, rat-a-tat, smash, whapwhap, boom, crash!
4. He attracts homeless pets and brings them home to live
5. He attracts homeless losers and brings them home to live (See our house in Middleburg circa 2003-2004)
6. He'd likely burn the place down
7. He's fiscally irresponsible and I'd have to manage his money
8. He has no sense of direction and would end up in Harlem or Brooklyn (more than I do!)
9. He'd give all his money to street performers
10. He'd become a street performer
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