Thursday, July 31, 2008

Movin' On Up

SEC, ACC Alumni Converge for Apt. 1E's Fourth Season
Diversity Both an Asset and a Liability, CEO says

AUG. 1, 2008 -- NEW YORK -- Effective immediately, Amy (Season 3), Erin (Seasons 1-3) and Nikki (Mid-season 3 Replacement) of Apartment 1E have relinquished their Hell's Kitchen abodes, retiring instead to neighborhoods elsewhere. After an extensive coast-to-coast search for their dynamic replacements, Apt. 1E is proud to announce three diverse acquisitions, marking both the return of man roommates and the first time in three seasons that non-Gators have moved into Apt. 1E.

"Never before has such a diverse group of collegiate alumni converged within these most hallowed halls," said newly appointed Apt. 1E CEO, Big Apple Angie. "Our varied backgrounds will provide us with much to discuss, and I look forward to crushing the competition come football season, errr, spending time watching GameDay in the most constructive manner possible."

New roommates include Boston College Kevin, the finance guru from Wyoming or someplace like it; Florida State Gabe, the Manny (man-nanny)/actor; and Georgia Bulldog Rachel, the teacher/student from Atlanta.

Aside from recently resigned Erin, Amy and Nikki, past Apt. 1E residents have included Prudence, Scotty, Brad, Kelly, Sara and Alexis. Pseudo-roommates have included Chris, Victor, Ben and Paco El Presidente de Mexico, the dog.

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