Saturday, November 29, 2008

Confidence is the New Ugly

Hi, readers! In my absence, please enjoy the following guest blog from the unparalleled Antoinette. It's been a while, so take a moment to remind yourself just how fabulous she is, and check out her blog here. Thanks, Ant!
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I am appalled. I am consternated. I am flummoxed. I am…out of words in my thesaurus to describe how I feel.

It has come to my attention (like a sledgehammer to the forehead) that I possess an “unbecoming” quality when it comes to attracting men. A 5 pound face tumor? Incurable halitosis? No. I have…Confidence and Self-Esteem. (How dare I?!?) In my research (hounding my male friends and accosting one unsuspecting stranger), I found that men aren’t as attracted to a self-assured woman. Confidence is the new Ugly.

What a fallen world we live in where men will only act like men (or feel like men) if their women will act like children. Pardon me for showing up to dinner needing only good conversation and not a barrage of compliments, ego stroking and a superhero to swoop in and save the day. I slayed my own dragons today; thank you very much. One guy put it: “Men like to feel needed”. So my confidence “problem” is a threat to his confidence? I spent a lot of time and money on this healthy self-image and now men want me to apologize for it?

This gets my patented, “Handle it!” And, if not being less of a woman so that my date can feel more like a man means more dateless weekends, so be it. I’ll take myself to dinner.

Now, this is the point where some of you will call me “bitter” or “conceited”. (Go ahead; get it out of your system). Surprised? Yes. Bitter? No! I think being bitter would be the opposite of a healthy self-esteem, so this “argument” doesn’t make much sense to me. If “conceited” means that I just "think highly of myself" then…Duh! That’s the point! But, to me, “conceited” means “I’m the best and no one compares.” On the contrary, not only am I awesome but I have many single, equally awesome friends and they seem to be hitting the same confidence brick wall when it comes to men. We’re all physically and internally beautiful, educated, funny, inviting, self-supporting women and, for some reason, completely repelling to the opposite sex. I’ll never understand it. This is pure…what’s the word? I need to spend some time looking up “nonsense” in my thesaurus. Fortunately, I have this weekend open.

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