Monday, November 9, 2009

Not Homeless

When Elizabeth asked me to participate in this group exercise with a host of my favorite bloggers, I was really excited. Then I finished reading the email and found out we were all supposed to write about HOME. Erggg. Twelve drafts later... this is all I've got. To read about home from people who can articulate far better than me, check out the bottom of this post.

I can’t wrap my head around the concept of home.

"I’m going home (Florida) for Thanksgiving," I said earlier today.
"I’m staying home (NYC) for Thanksgiving," I’ve said in the past.

Home is a misnomer, no matter which place I’m referencing when I say it. My family may still live in Jacksonville, but it’s no more my home than the Moon is. And while I live in New York right now, who knows if I’ll be here forever? There’s a palpable sense of permanence embodied in the "home" concept, and I’ve just never, ever felt permanent… anywhere.

If home isn’t about physical location, maybe it really is where the heart is. Gag. Excuse me while I go paint my nails pink and watch Enchanted............................ Ok, I’m back. While I’ve never felt homesick in my whole life, I am always missing somebody, somewhere. The homesick-like effects of wanderlust?

Every single day I miss my circus family in Jacksonville… the friends I made post-college and pre-NYC in Atlanta … Vicky & and the boys in LA … Great Gram and all my cousins in Wisconsin … Uncle Bruce in Hawaii … My Aunt Cathy and cousins in Austin… Miriam & the Vaca family in Bolivia … the sorority sisters and football buddies in Gainesville … Middleburg and the cheerleaders… clients who’ve become dear friends in The Bahamas … friends in Mexico, Montana, London, Tennessee, Chicago, Miami, Tallahassee, Australia, Orlando, Paris…

I’ve been to these places and loved the people who live there now, yet not one location has been able to fill the empty spot I have reserved in my heart for a permanent “home.” As I wrote this blog, I realized...

I haven’t been home yet.

Hebrews 11:13-16
Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that—heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them.


Anonymous said...

There you go! Haven't been home so we will always be torn!! Love it!

Elle said...

I love this and feel the same way :) Great blog Angie!

Anonymous said...

Spot on. Eventually I hope to go "Home" too.

Anonymous said...

What is a circus family??