I was not about to fall victim to another cruel Monday this week, so I took the day off and promised myself to participate only in activities that involved sunshine, nail polish, exercise and Easter candy. I went to six stores looking for half-price Cadbury Cream Eggs, but there were none to be found. Guess next year I’d better start stocking up early in the season.
1. Go to Modell’s in Times Square, try on every pair of rollerblades until you find one that fits. Pay no attention to color or aesthetics. Buy whatever fits and avoid viewing the price tag. Rationalize yet another sporting equipment purchase by telling yourself you can sell it on eBay when you tire of it.
2. Don’t post anything about your new hobby on Facebook, because your family will make fun of you. Tell yourself they are un-athletic buffoons and feel justified in your decision to live in NYC because they are all butt-heads. Refuse to purchase a helmet or pads out of spite. Thumb your nose in the direction of both Florida and Wisconsin when you don’t fall AT ALL.
3. Bring band-aids to protect your ankles. Blisters will sideline you faster than anything. Yeoowwwww.
4. Along with band-aids, bring extra socks, SPF lip gloss, your phone, wallet, a book, an iPod and headphones and a bottle of water. Seems like a lot, but I just tucked it into my cute ‘lil lime green one shoulder backpack. Paying $3 for water at the stand next to the USS Intrepid stinks, but even worse you have to stand in line with tourists and that’s just awkward.
5. Listen to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack to get in the groove. Feel free to break it down disco-style if you’re so inclined. I did, and no one noticed. Despite sticking out like a sore thumb back home, in NYC I don’t come close to being the weirdest person on the street at any given time.
7. Get a pedicure post-excursion and then take a nap on the patio in your new Adirondack chair from Target.
BAA – 1
Monday – 1
Who will win next week?
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