My final session of acupuncture was the proverbial icing on the cake, the straw that broke the camel’s back and the nail in the coffin. (Here’s hoping you like clichés.) I’d made it through a jittery first few experiences and the unexpected burning skull jab and was now about to take on my 4th round of the procedure. Certainly, I mused, it would work this time, and I’d come out on the other end feeling less tense and hopefully, less pain.
Once I confirmed that there would be no more needles in the top of my head, Dr. O tapped my wrists, ankles, back and neck with smaller needles, and I was pleasantly surprised to feel no unusual pain. I just knew it was going to work!
She pressed play on the CD player so I could be lulled into a more relaxed state by the sounds of humpback whales/Indian windchimes/Enya. I nuzzled my face into the pillow, with my head facing the door and my bare feet near the shelf where the CD player was perched. So far, so good. Despite the music being turned up a smidge louder than usual, I was feeling more relaxed already.
Dr. O hadn’t been out of the room for 30 seconds when the Now Hear This: Humpback Indian Enya CD began to skip. WHAM BAM WHAM BOM BOM BOM WHOOM WHOOM WHOOM. Oh no, I cringed, this isn’t happening. Please stop skipping, I said aloud. Nothing.
Lord, please make it stop, I prayed. WHAM WHAM WHAM BIM BIM BOOM WHOMP. Still nothing.
Knowing I had to stay put for at least 20 minutes, I carefully craned my neck (taking care not to dislodge the needles) to determine exactly where the CD player was positioned since my poked and prodded predicament prevented me from getting up and walking around. Determined to stop the madness, I pointed my toe and tried to stretch far enough to knock the banging CD player back into functionality. No luck though – my short legs had failed me again.
I looked around for something to throw at the CD player, but considering I was lying on a table in the center of the room, I was nowhere near the closest potential projectile. There was no escape from the ruckus. I lay there, defeated and on edge while the CD player throbbed on for 19 agonizing minutes.
And you’ll never guess what happened thirty seconds before Dr. O came back… the WHAM BAHM BOOM BOM BOM WHOOOM ceased, and beautiful Humpback Indian Enya songs wafted through the airwaves once again. As you can imagine, I didn’t feel any better and I decided right then that I was done with acupuncture for the time being. Any other ideas?
Sometimes it gets so bad I can’t even handle it
18 hours ago