Saturday, November 13, 2010

Upheaval, As Promised

Last night, I had a dream. I can’t remember what it was about, but I recall my old pals Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale were there. That’s not particularly unusual for me… Gwen pops up in my dreams all the time. She’s the one celebrity that I would really like to be friends with. My dreams are never sensational either. Usually it’s just me, Gwen and say, Lauren, hanging out at Starbucks chatting about nothing. No kidding.

I think she randomly appears in my subconscious sometimes because No Doubt is my favorite band ever. They’re one of the very few acts I will pay to see in concert again and again. In 2000, No Doubt released and album entitled, “The Return of Saturn,” written by Gwen during her transformative 29th year. I didn’t realize it at the time, but later in life I learned that the Return of Saturn is actually a scientific reference to the planet Saturn’s full rotation around the sun, which takes place once every 29 years. So right now, Saturn is in roughly the same place it was in the universe on that dark and stormy Friday the 13th, 1981, when I was born.

I’m not into astrology, so that’s not where I’m going with this. However, the 29th year of a person’s life has oft been designated as a time to leave youth behind and enter adulthood. The 29th year is considered a major threshold and a time for reflection and change. Saturn is starting over today… and in a way, I am, too.

As you’ve probably figured out by now, especially if you’ve been reading BAA for any length of time, my natural instinct is to fight adulthood kicking and screaming. How else can I account for my extended adolescence? I ate Laffy Taffys for breakfast on Monday. I watch SpongeBob because I actually like it. I sleep with my baby blanket. I feel more like myself when babysitting middle schoolers than expounding on social media trends in a meeting.

I have no complaints about my lifestyle as it currently stands. I love my job. I love my coworkers. I love my apartment. I love my friends. I love my church. I LOVE NEW YORK.

But sometimes, just because we’re comfortable doesn’t mean we should stay still and remain where we are.

Adolescence represents an inner emotional upheaval, a struggle between the eternal human wish to cling to the past and the equally powerful wish to get on with the future.
Louise J. Kaplan

The day I turned 28, I began to think about turning 29, and then 30. The next thing I knew, my imagination had carried me from spry 28 to feeble 104, wheelchair-bound, alone in a nursing home, with lots of wrinkles. I confess that my fear of aging comes mostly from vanity, and I’m working on that flaw as best I can.

I put aside my vanity and just pondered getting older, really, seriously, for the first time, I began to reflect on where I’ve been and to wonder, where do I want to go?

After a while, it dawned on me that I didn’t ask, “Self, what do you want out of life?” – like a husband, 2.5 kids, a dog and a house – but instead, “Self, where do you want to go?”

Where? That is the question.

Head on over to for all the details. 


Thomas Stark :) said...

2.5 kids? Weird!!

george said...

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